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Why are the first 90 seconds of a tour so important? Christy Van Der Westhuizen breaks down everything families sense before you even start.
Senior living decisions are very, very emotional. They’re emotional decisions first. And so families use logic to justify what they felt.
Before a family chooses a floor plan, they choose a feeling.
What happens before you ever begin your community tour may be the single biggest factor in whether a family chooses your community. In this episode, Christy Van Der Westhuizen explores the often-overlooked power of the "first 90 seconds," the critical window where families begin deciding whether they trust your community long before pricing, floor plans, or care plans enter the conversation.
Christy explains why senior living decisions are emotional first and logical second, walking listeners through the sensory and emotional experience families have from the moment they discover your community online to the second they step through the front door. From curb appeal and lobby energy to smells, sounds, team interactions, and model apartment readiness, every detail communicates something about your culture of care.
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Produced by Grit & Gravel Marketing
00:09 - 04:12
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
Hi, friends. Welcome back to the Bridge The Gap podcast. I'm your contributor host Christy Van Der Westhuizen. So today we are talking about something that I think is wildly underestimated in senior living sales. The first 90s. Okay, so not the first 90 minutes, not the clothes, not the pricing conversation, not the amazingly fancy brochure with the smiling stock photo couple.
You know what I'm talking about that may or may not have ever stepped foot in assisted living. This is the first 90s. So this is before a family ever sits down with us before they hear about care levels, pricing, floor plans, dining activities, signature programs, or our very best. Let me show you our beautiful community voice. They are already deciding how they feel, how they feel about us.
And let me tell you, families feel things very, very quickly. They may not say that out loud though, and they may not walk in and say hi. I'm emotionally overwhelmed. Probably a little guilty comparing you against three other communities and making a gut decision within the first minute. They're not saying that, but I'm telling you, they could be feeling it, just not saying it.
And that's often what is happening. So senior living decisions are very, very emotional. Their emotional decisions first. And so families use logic to justify what they felt. And so I do the same thing. Have you ever made an entire target purchase based on a feeling? I go to target, and target tells me what I want, not the other way around.
So I get it. But in our world, in senior living, the stakes are extremely high. So when a daughter walks into a community, she's not just looking at clean carpet, good paint and snacks on a plate that a resident walks by with, she's asking herself things that maybe she's never said out loud. And these things are like, what?
I feel okay having mom live here? Does this feel safe? Warm? Clean? Do the people seem kind? Would mom be known here? Would dad be cared for here? Can I trust these people? And so that is what the first 90s are really, really about. And you've heard me say it before and I'm going to say it again. Trust that five letter word trust.
And so in senior living sales we are lucky enough to be sense makers. Families are not just shopping, they're not just checking us out. They're actually trying to untangle a giant bowl of spaghetti. And that spaghetti is filled with guilt, fear, finances, which are a real thing. Timing, sibling dynamics, care needs, denial, possibly independence, health changes, and everyone has an opinion on what is the most important part of that giant bowl of spaghetti.
And so our job in senior living sales is to help them make sense of it all with honesty, compassion, and a sense of calm and a sense of empathy. And so here's the thing. These prospects decide whether we are a safe guide, a trusted advisor before we even meet them, because that trust starts the second they pull into our parking lot.
04:12 - 08:13
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
Okay, let's be real though, it actually starts way before then. It starts when they Google us, when they read our reviews, when they call and hear how we answer the phone or don't answer the phone. It starts when they drive by and see the landscaping, when they walk up the front door, and by the time they step into our lobby, their brain is already collecting evidence.
It's either evidence that we care for its evidence that it says run as far away as you can from this place. And so let's talk about what those first 90s include. So first curb appeal I know curb appeal sounds like something that we should see on HGTV, but in senior living sales, it's not necessarily cosmetic. It's actually confidence.
And it shows that you really take care of your community. So that means the parking lot, the entrance, the landscaping, front door, signage, cleanliness, the outdated seasonal decor or the outdoor furniture, trash cans, cigarette butts, dead plants that have been almost getting replaced since March. All of that tells a story, and the family is reading that story and they're evaluating that story.
So if the outside looks tired, ignored, or messy, the family could wonder if they don't notice and address this. What else do they not notice and take care of? That might sound harsh, but families are protective and they should be. They are thinking about moving someone they love into our care. Their antenna is up again, as it should be.
So curb appeal matters, and not because we're trying to be fancy or something that we're not, but we're trying to communicate pride, readiness. We're trying to communicate. We expected you and we are prepared. We really care about this place. And so that arrival experience matters. So a community doesn't have to be brand new to feel loved. That's a really, really important thing that I want you to to hear when I say it doesn't have to be brand spanking new to feel really good and cared for, because we are not always working with perfect buildings.
Some of our communities have age some 40 plus years when senior living really was developed. Some have quirks, odd layouts. When a wing was added ten years after the original layout was was done, some older finishes and maybe a hallway hut has seen some things, but loved and neglected are two very, very different things. A family as well as I can.
We can forgive an older building, but they struggle to forgive a building that feels uncared for. And so there is a really big difference between vintage. Love that. And why is that wreath still up from Valentine's Day six months later? So before a scheduled visit and I know you have them. Oh, you got a tour coming at noon.
Walk outside, look at the front entrance like you're seeing it for the very, very first time. Would you feel proud bringing your own loved one through that door? And so here's where the reality sets in. If the answer is no. I want you to fix what you can, but escalate what you cannot. So address what you can address right then and there.
08:13 - 11:51
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
Fix it. But if there are things that you cannot fix, you run it up the flagpole so we can get that fixed because we we want it to be something that you're proud of, that when a new person walks in your door, that that first exterior experience is just as good as the interior experience. Okay, next thing about our 90, 90, 90 rule and where that comes from, is that we believe that 90% of prospects make a decision within 90ft and 90s of their visit.
So the next thing on the list is lobby energy. And so a lobby is not just a lobby. The lobby is the feeling of the building. It's the handshake. It's the first emotional temperature check. And so people are asking themselves, is it warm? Is it calm or is it alive? Is someone smiling? Is the front desk prepared? Is there music laying softly?
Does it smell good here? Are residents visible and engaged? Does it feel like home, or does it feel like a quiet medical waiting room where joy is eluded us? Families are paying attention, and they're not only looking at the sales person, they are watching everyone. They're watching. Whether team members make eye contact, they're watching whether residents are engaged with each other and with team members.
They're watching whether the receptionist knows that they're coming. If it's a noon tour and wow, the receptionist knows who they are when they walk in, that's an amazing first impression they're watching. Whether the executive director walks by and says hello and is visible, they're also seeing if people seem happy living there. And that's why the tour experience is a team sport.
So sales may lead the experience the majority of the experience, but the entire community creates that feeling. And so everyone is on the sales, team, maintenance, dining care, team life enrichment, front desk, executive director. You're all on that sales team. And so what that doesn't mean is that not everyone needs to start quoting rates or closing deposits in the hallway, but it means every person contributes to the trust that is the actual.
That is what we sell. Every person contributes to that trust. So a warm hello matters greatly. A clean hallway matters. A caregiver smiling and saying, good morning, miss Carol matters, the dining director greeting a family and saying, oh, we'd love to have you to stay for lunch sometime. That matters. And so these very, very, very small moments, they're actually huge.
They're not little. They are proof. And so families can start believing that what we say is actually happening because we can say, oh, we welcome we are a warm, caring community. But if no one looks up when the family walks in or that doesn't build trust, that family believes the silence. And so we can say our residents are known and loved.
11:51 - 15:55
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
But if a team member greets a resident by name and helps them with kindness, the family believes that. So perception is reality. What we say is what we do. And so the tour experience is not a presentation, it is evidence. I just say that one more time. So the tour experience is not a presentation. Although I love when we can do some pre tour work on really wowing the family because we've done really great discovery and have really crafted what that tour experience looks like.
But the entire experience is evidence of what the real life experience of living at the community is really all about. So now let's talk about another experience that you have when walking into a building. We're going to talk about the smell because smell will humble you faster than a budget call smell. The aroma or odor is one of the quickest ways to either create comfort or red alarm bells concern.
And so in senior living, we have to be honest about this. Families are sensitive to smell because they often associated with care. Quality in a community can be beautiful, but if the first thing family smells is urine, trash, old food, or overpowering air freshener trying to fight for its life, we have a problem. And so let me say this really clearly.
The goal is not to smell like a candle store exploded. Although if you were in my office right now, you'd probably feel that you'd smell that. I love having aromas all around me, but the goal in senior living is clean, fresh and welcoming. There's a really, really big difference between a warm cookie and a plug in doing a Broadway performance to mask and odor, and so families can tell when we're masking something.
So do the smell check not from your office when you're probably knows blind, but walk in through the front door like a family. Check the lobby, common areas, dining areas. Model apartment, public restrooms, elevators, memory care entrances, and any hallway that you plan to show. If something smells off, don't ignore it, fix it, and own it. If you can't fix it, find someone who can.
Okay. Another thing to address is sound. In that first 90s sound matters more than I think people think. What does the community sound like when a family arrives? Is there laughter? Soft music? Maybe a cooking demo going on in the background, team members greeting people warmly? Or is it silent or chaotic? Is there a call like going off for so long that everyone in the lobby is going, okay, someone needs help and they don't have it yet?
Sound creates feeling and so a silent community can feel lonely. A chaotic community can feel really, really unsafe, and a warm community feels alive and active. And so every community has real moments. I want to be real honest with this. We are not staging a movie set. This is senior living. There will be walkers and wheelchairs and call lights and deliveries and med carts and someone looking for the next activity, someone looking for the movie theater and at least one person who wants to know when is lunch and what is for lunch.
15:55 - 20:07
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
There are a lot of things going on and that's life. It's beautiful, sometimes chaotic, sometimes quiet. But we're not trying to create fake perfection. We're actually trying to create confidence. And there's a difference. The family is not looking for perfect. They want to feel that the community that they choose is attentive, kind, organized, human and warm. And so let's talk about team warmth.
And that might be the absolute biggest one because a family can forgive a scuffed wall much quicker than they can forgive cold people. Warmth is everything and it doesn't mean over the top. Not everyone needs jazz hands. Okay? Except me. I really do need jazz hands all the time. No, just kidding. I appreciate a little sparkle, but warmth.
When I'm talking about warmth in a community, it means present. It means looking up in using names. It means slowing down long enough to make someone feel seen and heard and loved. It means the front desk should know when a family is arriving. The sales person is ready. Executive director is ready to say hello and eliminate any fears.
It doesn't mean that we all need to know every detail about every person walking in the community, but it means enough to personalize and anticipate. And this is where discovery connects directly to the family experience. And so what is important to them needs to shape the whole tour experience. And if we give the same visit to every family, we're not connecting.
We're just walking and talking. And nobody needs a senior living parade of amenities. We are not tour guides. And I know I used to joke a long time ago that, oh, I was a senior living tour guide. Well, that's cringey and I wish I never said that. No one needs someone to say, here is the dining room. Here is the salon.
Here's the courtyard, here is the brochure. And here is me slowly losing them. Feature dumping is not connection and a personalized experience, said says I listened, I heard what matters. I can picture your mom here and I want you to be able to picture it to. And so that's why I love the sit tour sit approach. We first sit to understand, to connect, and then we tour with intention.
And then we sit again to process, answer questions and guide toward the next step. And so the first sit shouldn't feel like paperwork or it shouldn't feel like a medical office where when you're having to talk about all your ailments and all your things before you even build that trust, that first sit should feel like a pause, a breath, an opportunity for them to share where they are in the process and for them to start going, okay, I don't have to do this alone.
And so that's why that first sit is so important. When we ask thoughtful questions and we listen and we slow down and don't rush to the apartment before you understand the person, because the more you know, the more you connect. Okay. So let's talk about the model apartment during your tour experience. And the model apartment is talking about you.
Yes, you didn't know, but it's talking about you. And it's loud, sometimes beautifully and sometimes like it needs a real good nap. And so a model should feel like a future home, not leftover furniture storage or left over furniture that a former resident left because it didn't look real nice. And just because we have extra furniture doesn't mean it belongs in our model.
20:07 - 26:11
Christy Van Der Westhuizen
So with the model lights on, music on temperature, comfortable bed made bathroom spotless, no random supply boxes, no dead plant things on the wall, artwork hung, and if you know the family story, you can personalize it. You could point out where her favorite recliner will go to maybe mention the morning light, because they say that she loves sunshine and basking in sunshine.
Maybe you can help them imagine family photos on the wall. And so, as much as families may say they're not just evaluating square footage, they're trying to imagine a life here. And so our job is to help them see it. So let's be honest. I'm going to take it home, okay? Sometimes first impressions just aren't where they need to be.
Maybe the entrance is messy, maybe the lobby feels flat, or the model apartment is not ready, or the team seems rushed. And so this is where we cannot afford to get defensive. We can get curious though. And so we can ask, what is this experience saying before we even say a word? What's the parking lot saying? What's the front door saying?
What's the lobby saying? What's the smell saying? What's the team energy saying? Because families, they'll feel it. And then sometimes we wonder, well, why didn't they convert? Why did they ghost me? And it might be because the answer was sitting in front of us in the first 90s of their visit. Maybe they just didn't feel us. They never relaxed, they couldn't picture it, and they never trusted us.
So they politely toured, took the folder, said they needed to talk to their siblings, and then disappeared into the Senior Living Witness Protection program. You know, you're thinking about that one prospect that you thought was a slam dunk and bam, they never returned your calls. I've been there. We've all been there. So what do we do here? It's we inspect what we expect.
So before every scheduled tours have a rhythm to confirm your readiness, walk the entrance, check the lobby, confirm the front desk knows who's coming. Refute. Review your favorite discovery questions. Prepare the model. Alert your department leaders and have the next step in mind. And please do not wing it. That was a really big mistake that I used to make.
And I would say, well, I'm here from 8 to 5 Tuesday through Saturday. Come on in whenever you have a chance. That's not a smart move, because I didn't have an opportunity to wow them with pre tour planning. So a great tour experience looks natural. But it's planned and it feels easy because preparation happened behind the scenes. And so that is sales professionalism.
That's care and that sales excellence. And so if you're an executive director this really matters for you too. So if first impressions matter and they matter greatly, the tour experience and the tour readiness cannot just be a sales task. It has to be a community standard. So talk about scheduled visits and tours and stand up. Talk about who's coming today, what we know about them, how we want the family to feel when they walk in.
And that's how we build a sales culture. And it's not by saying everyone's in sales once in a while and then hoping our server in the dining room magically knows what to do, we teach the team how they impact occupancy, and we celebrate when we all do it well, because what gets recognized gets repeated. And so if you take anything from today and thanks again for listening, take this.
The first 90s they're not fluff. Their strategy, their trust building, their emotionally selling. And to be honest, they're the beginning of the clothes. It's the opening of the door. And so before a family chooses a floor plan, they choose a feeling. And the tiny, tiny, tiny details are not so tiny. The flowers by the door, the smile by the front desk, the music in the lobby, the resident greeted by name.
The model apartment lights the warm hand off. All of it says something. And so let's make sure it's saying what we want it to say. We care. We're ready. You're welcome here. Your loved one would be known here. You can breathe easily here. And you're not alone in this decision. That's the heart sell, not the hard sell way.
So this week, walk your community like it's your first visit. Start outside. Walk in like a daughter or son coming to visit for their mom. Notice what you feel, what you smell, what you hear and what you see. And then fix one thing today. Not someday, not next week, but today. Because when we get the first 90s right, we don't just create a better quote unquote tour experience.
We create confidence. We create trust, and we help families feel okay. This could be the place. And in senior living, that feeling really matters. So now go make those first 90s count. Thanks so much for listening. It's been an honor sharing my thoughts with you as a Bridge the Gap contributor host.
